Post by The Big PINK One♥ on Nov 14, 2007 15:46:52 GMT -5
Be honest with yourself. Is your plate piled too high with deadlines and obligations that you're trying to squeeze in between meetings? Are you trying to cram too many activities into too little time? If so, stress relief can be as straightforward as just saying no or no more.
Why say no?
There are countless worthy requests out there just waiting to decrease the amount of free time you have, and increase your level of stress. So, it's easy to create stressful situations in your life, if you don't turn down requests for your time and talents.
Who will make costumes for the school play or coach your children's Little League team if you don't? The answer may not be simple, but you should still consider these reasons for making sure it's not you.
Saying no can be good for you. Saying no is not a selfish act. In fact, it may be the most beneficial thing that you can do for your family and your other commitments. When you say no, you'll be able to spend quality time on the things you've already said yes to.
Saying no can allow you to try new things. Just because you've always helped plan the company softball tournament doesn't mean that you have to keep doing it forever. Saying no will free up time to pursue other hobbies or interests.
Yes isn't always the best answer. If you're overcommitted and under a lot of stress, you've got a much better chance of becoming sick, tired or just plain old crabby, which doesn't benefit you or anyone else.
It's important to recognize the power of other people. Let those around you come through. Although others may not do things exactly the same way you would, you can learn a valuable lesson by allowing others to help, while gaining treasured free time.
When to say no
Sometimes it's tough to determine which activities deserve your time and attention. Use these strategies to evaluate obligations — and opportunities — that come your way.
Find yourself. Saying no helps you prioritize the things that are important to you. You'll gain time that you can commit to the things that you really want to do, such as leaving work at a reasonable hour to make time for a mind-clearing run at the end of the day. Examine your current obligations and overall priorities before making any new commitments. Ask yourself if the new commitment is important to you. If it's something that you feel strongly about, by all means do it.
Weigh the yes-to-stress ratio. Is the new activity that you're considering a short- or long-term commitment? Taking an afternoon to bake a batch of cookies for the school bake sale will take far less of your precious time than heading up the school fundraising committee for an entire year. If an activity is going to end up being another source of stress in your life — especially for the long term — take a pass.
Let go of guilt. If friends want to get together for an impromptu evening out on the town when you've already scheduled a quiet evening at home with your partner, it's okay to decline their offer. Do what you've set out to do and don't veer off that path because of feelings of guilt or obligation. It will only lead to additional stress in your life.
Keep your current commitments in check. If you have relatives coming over for dinner, don't go overboard. Order pizza or ask everyone to bring a dish to share.
Sleep on it. Are you tempted by a friend's invitation to volunteer at your old alma mater or join a weekly golf league? Take a day to think over the request and respond after you've been able to assess your current commitments as well as the new opportunity.
How to say no
No. Nope. Nah. See how simple it is to say one little word that will allow you to take a pass on the things that aren't a priority? Of course, there are always instances when it's just not that easy. Here are some things to keep in mind when you need to say no:
Practice full disclosure. Don't fabricate reasons to get out of an obligation. The truth is always the best way to turn down a friend, family member or co-worker.
Let them down gently. Many good causes land at your door, and it can be tough to turn them down. Complimenting the person or group's effort while saying that you're unable to commit at this time helps to soften the blow and keep you in good graces.
Saying no won't be easy if you're used to saying yes all the time. But learning to say no is an important part of simplifying your way to a better, less stressful life.
