Post by The Big PINK One♥ on Aug 9, 2007 21:27:36 GMT -5
You don't stay at one company your whole life, so your identity can't come from your company. Instead, it comes from the choices you make.
That means it's absurd to feel like your employer controls your life, because your employer isn't even making a lifetime commitment to you. You control your life, so take responsibility for it and don't blame circumstances or your employer or both.
And certainly don't be angry that other people take personal responsibility for their lives and careers, and get more of what they want than you do.
It's Your Job
This is a wakeup call to anyone who feels powerless because of where they work. We all have the ability to quit our jobs tomorrow -- there's no such thing as indentured servitude in this country.
Yes, there are single mothers who live in homeless shelters, but this advice doesn't apply to them. The majority of you have college degrees and some work experience, so you're only as stuck as you make yourself.
The job market is very, very good right now, so there's no reason to accept a job that doesn't meet your personal and professional goals. If you find yourself in a one that doesn't, ask yourself how you can take full responsibility for changing the situation.
Five Ways to Take Control
Here are some rules to live by if you want to accept full responsibility for your life and career:
1. Job hunt all the time.
You're managing your career all the time, so if you're not constantly looking around to see what opportunities are there for you, how will you find them? No one is steering your career for you. If you don't have long-term goals that you're working toward every day, your career is going nowhere; you're treading water in the workplace instead of swimming.
If you don't like where you are and you don't see how to change it, get help. The career-coaching industry is huge because managing a career is more complicated today than it's ever been. Don't get trapped by the idea that you can plot your career on your own. Get help from mentors, coworkers, your extended network, and a hired coach if necessary.
Yes, you need all of them. You need to fortify your support team so that you have a whole group of people helping you reach your goals. That's what it takes today.
2. Be honest about where your happiness comes from.
It's incredibly arrogant to think that money will make a difference in your life. We're conditioned to always want more money no matter how much we have.
It's natural to want more of what keeps us going, so everyone thinks they need 20 percent more money to meet their needs. Then they get the 20 percent and approximately two years later think they need 20 percent more.
Why would you think you're different? The only people who think this doesn't affect them are those who've never lived around millionaires to understand why they feel financially unstable.
Instead of wondering why you don't feel fulfilled, pay attention to what researchers say will make you happy. This is brain science, and you're the just the same as the rest of the human race.
That means no long commutes, because you're kidding yourself if you think hours on the road are worth the extra money. It also means no working for jerks, because doing so makes you one. And it means no extended soul searches in which you take no action, because the fastest path to fulfillment is action, not philosophizing.
3. Stop saying financial issues hold you back.
Don't use your financial constraints as a way to get out of making adult decisions. You can change your job or your career no matter where you are in life.
If health insurance is the issue, here's a newsflash: It's a problem for everyone. The insurance industry in this country is broken, but not everyone uses that as an excuse to not have a career they like.
The point is that you can spend your life looking for excuses for why you won't ask for what you want, or you can ask. You can make plans to get what you want, or not. But don't blame your decisions on financial issues.
4. Start caring about how you present yourself.
You'll get more of what you want in this world if you look good. Don't complain that this isn't fair -- we're trained to judge others within a matter of seconds. We can't stop ourselves from doing it.
So get with the program and start looking the best you can. Maybe if you were going to stay in the same company for 40 years and never have to market yourself again, ignoring your appearance would work. But today, you're basically a brand that you have to market continuously in order to get interesting work that accommodates your life. You've got to take care of how your brand looks, there's no way around it.
Are you inept in this department? Hire a stylist. It's an investment in your career. Sure, it's expensive, but what gets more mileage during the day than your looks? So blow the budget in this area.
If you're stuck in the rut of substance over style, recognize that you're in a rut. The world doesn't appreciate substance over style in real life, only in philosophy classes.
5. Stop blaming other people.
How you frame things matters. The positive-psychology movement studies how people make themselves happy, and the bottom line is that the optimism you're born with matters most.
A lot of optimism allows you to reframe issues in terms of how you can control them next time instead of how you can claim no control over anything. In fact, while most people think that if they had enough money they'd be happy, I would argue that financial freedom is dead and people should try optimism instead.
The Choice is Yours
Look, this is all good news. You're in control of your life, and you decide where you'll work and how optimistic you're going to be.
You can choose to complain and be angry that other people have more than you, or you can choose to consciously go after what you want every day of your life.
That means it's absurd to feel like your employer controls your life, because your employer isn't even making a lifetime commitment to you. You control your life, so take responsibility for it and don't blame circumstances or your employer or both.
And certainly don't be angry that other people take personal responsibility for their lives and careers, and get more of what they want than you do.
It's Your Job
This is a wakeup call to anyone who feels powerless because of where they work. We all have the ability to quit our jobs tomorrow -- there's no such thing as indentured servitude in this country.
Yes, there are single mothers who live in homeless shelters, but this advice doesn't apply to them. The majority of you have college degrees and some work experience, so you're only as stuck as you make yourself.
The job market is very, very good right now, so there's no reason to accept a job that doesn't meet your personal and professional goals. If you find yourself in a one that doesn't, ask yourself how you can take full responsibility for changing the situation.
Five Ways to Take Control
Here are some rules to live by if you want to accept full responsibility for your life and career:
1. Job hunt all the time.
You're managing your career all the time, so if you're not constantly looking around to see what opportunities are there for you, how will you find them? No one is steering your career for you. If you don't have long-term goals that you're working toward every day, your career is going nowhere; you're treading water in the workplace instead of swimming.
If you don't like where you are and you don't see how to change it, get help. The career-coaching industry is huge because managing a career is more complicated today than it's ever been. Don't get trapped by the idea that you can plot your career on your own. Get help from mentors, coworkers, your extended network, and a hired coach if necessary.
Yes, you need all of them. You need to fortify your support team so that you have a whole group of people helping you reach your goals. That's what it takes today.
2. Be honest about where your happiness comes from.
It's incredibly arrogant to think that money will make a difference in your life. We're conditioned to always want more money no matter how much we have.
It's natural to want more of what keeps us going, so everyone thinks they need 20 percent more money to meet their needs. Then they get the 20 percent and approximately two years later think they need 20 percent more.
Why would you think you're different? The only people who think this doesn't affect them are those who've never lived around millionaires to understand why they feel financially unstable.
Instead of wondering why you don't feel fulfilled, pay attention to what researchers say will make you happy. This is brain science, and you're the just the same as the rest of the human race.
That means no long commutes, because you're kidding yourself if you think hours on the road are worth the extra money. It also means no working for jerks, because doing so makes you one. And it means no extended soul searches in which you take no action, because the fastest path to fulfillment is action, not philosophizing.
3. Stop saying financial issues hold you back.
Don't use your financial constraints as a way to get out of making adult decisions. You can change your job or your career no matter where you are in life.
If health insurance is the issue, here's a newsflash: It's a problem for everyone. The insurance industry in this country is broken, but not everyone uses that as an excuse to not have a career they like.
The point is that you can spend your life looking for excuses for why you won't ask for what you want, or you can ask. You can make plans to get what you want, or not. But don't blame your decisions on financial issues.
4. Start caring about how you present yourself.
You'll get more of what you want in this world if you look good. Don't complain that this isn't fair -- we're trained to judge others within a matter of seconds. We can't stop ourselves from doing it.
So get with the program and start looking the best you can. Maybe if you were going to stay in the same company for 40 years and never have to market yourself again, ignoring your appearance would work. But today, you're basically a brand that you have to market continuously in order to get interesting work that accommodates your life. You've got to take care of how your brand looks, there's no way around it.
Are you inept in this department? Hire a stylist. It's an investment in your career. Sure, it's expensive, but what gets more mileage during the day than your looks? So blow the budget in this area.
If you're stuck in the rut of substance over style, recognize that you're in a rut. The world doesn't appreciate substance over style in real life, only in philosophy classes.
5. Stop blaming other people.
How you frame things matters. The positive-psychology movement studies how people make themselves happy, and the bottom line is that the optimism you're born with matters most.
A lot of optimism allows you to reframe issues in terms of how you can control them next time instead of how you can claim no control over anything. In fact, while most people think that if they had enough money they'd be happy, I would argue that financial freedom is dead and people should try optimism instead.
The Choice is Yours
Look, this is all good news. You're in control of your life, and you decide where you'll work and how optimistic you're going to be.
You can choose to complain and be angry that other people have more than you, or you can choose to consciously go after what you want every day of your life.
